duke Nukem disappointment

I got Duke Nukem Forever on Thursday (yeah, I know it was released on Friday, but that’s the beauty of Game’s first to play system). To be frankly honest, it was not worth the 14 year wait.

Maybe I’ve matured too much to enjoy the puerile humour. Maybe I’ve gained an appreciation for subtler story telling thanks to games like Half-life.

Or maybe, DNF is just shit. Now hold on, before you get on your high horse. I love Duke 3D. I have the trial game on XBL, and even after 15 years, the game is still fun to play. It’s a testament to the game that you can still enjoy it even now.

I’m finding it hard to pin point quite what it is about DNF that I don’t like. The graphics are pretty shoddy – muddy to the point you think it’s been dragged through bog land for thirty miles. The characters are annoying, the weapons are mediocre (you can’t even carry enough ammo like you used to), and worse, you’re restricted to carrying two! I’m loath to carry the rpg, one of the mainstays from Duke 3D, simply because you only have 5 rounds. Miss a shot at your peril.

Normally, I don’t mind the two weapon proscription. It’s a common enough feature in COD and Halo and Crysis 2, but Duke’s an arcade shooter. It just doesn’t belong. Someone mentioned on a forum that the reason the game only allows you to carry two weapons is because you can’t switch weapons easily on a console. Really? I can name a few games that allow you to carry multiple weapons: Bioshock 1 & 2, Red faction Guerilla and Armageddon, Gears Of War 1 & 2, and lest I forget, Gearbox’s own Borderlands.

The level design is frankly appalling, and the enemies … I miss the old pig cops. The ones that squeal when they die, and attempt to shotgun you to death (and were bloody good at it too if you weren’t careful). But these new ones that jump at you are a pain in the arse. It's great when you hit them with a shotgun blast as they fly through the air, but you're more than likely to miss than hit, and have to go through a button tapping exercise to kill them, all whilst being shot at.

Which brings me to the final point. The controls are shoddy, either too twitchy or too mushy, never just right, and make aiming at an octobrain an exercise in frustration.

Was DNF worth spending £30 on? Not a chance. Good job I got £30 trade in for it, which is going toward Ocarina of Time 3DS this Friday.

On a side note, I rented Red Faction Armageddon to tide me over till Friday, and that is fun.